Soul-care matters
I wrote this chapter to encourage and remind home-educating parents who are knee-deep in birthing or cultivating new ideas, attitudes, habits and gifts in their children to take time out for themselves. It is very easy to spend all our waking hours worrying, planning and facilitating our children’s idyllic childhood experiences and completely forget to nurture our own souls. Attempts to address our needs often fall short at quick fixes like a long bath, coffee break or a beauty treatment, all of which are necessary for our well-being but don’t fill our emotional, intellectual and spiritual cups.
Four years into this alternative educational journey, it still is, hands down, the most radical, courageous and sacrificial thing I have ever done. The best part is that I am not only a better parent for it, but I honestly believe I have become a better person because of it. Every educational experience I have ushered for my son has also been good for me. Additionally, having the courage to home educate has given me the courage to step off the hamster wheel to explore my sense of vocation. These tremendous life-giving benefits aside, taking the plunge is not without its fair share of difficulties and challenges.
Arguably, the vicissitudes of joys and challenges of home education are not too dissimilar from the experience of being pregnant and giving birth. When a woman becomes pregnant, her body, mind and soul take a hit. She feels solely responsible for nurturing the precious, fragile new life with all its hopes and possibilities growing within her. Her entire body, soul and spirit align to develop and nurture that baby. She starts to eat right, rest more, exercise, protect her peace and do everything she possibly can to maximise the chance of bringing her baby to birth safely and healthily.
Similarly, as home-education parents, we are responsible for facilitating every aspect of our children’s well-being. If they turn out well, get good grades, show good manners, become good citizens, hold on to their beliefs and values or have good marriages, it is all down to us. At least, we are made to feel that way, even though we all know that each child is unique with their own agency and preferences, coupled with the fact that home-educated children are not educated in a vacuum.
An expectant mother endures the latent discomfort of pregnancy and the visceral pain of childbirth for the joy of holding that beautiful and healthy babe in her arms. Likewise, the home-educating mother labours in pouring her intellect, energy and creativity into her child(ren) daily for the joy of birthing new habits, knowledge, abilities, skills and virtues. Like pregnancy, the birthing process may be emotionally and physically arduous, but it brings forth inexplicable joy and fulfilment! Unlike most expectant mothers in the West, who face childbirth surrounded by a team of medical experts and close family, most home educators endure the daily marathon of birthing alone, exhausted and often riddled with unnecessary guilt. It doesn’t have to be this way. Home educators can also be surrounded by internal and external outlets of inspiration, expertise and cheerleaders that egg us on in our intellectual, spiritual, physical and virtue-cultivating birthing journeys.
Sometimes, we forget these sources of support are at our disposal, and my chapter has been written precisely to address that situation. As home-educating parents, we need time to pause, take a breath and care for our souls so we can continue pouring into our children’s lives.
Soul keeping or soul care shouldn’t be something we arrive at after all other boxes have been ticked. For Christian home educators in particular, who view motherhood as a ministry, it is imperative that we model the life we wish for our children and making time to replenish ourselves inwardly not only does that, but it allows us to serve our children from the overflow of our own well-nourished souls. Out of this overflow, we will find joy and energy to lay a delightful and nourishing feast for our children and serve others.
Alberta Stevens is a British, single home-educating parent of Sierra Leonean heritage. She combines home-educating her two boys with writing, speaking, podcasting and coaching other home-educating parents at Homegrown Sonshine. Alberta specialises in creating wholesome and culturally diverse learning resources aimed at equipping home educators to craft their unique home learning journeys with confidence and ease. Prior to becoming a home educator, Alberta juggled motherhood with helping corporate businesses create social value and impact by partnering with local charities. Before this, she held an 18-year career designing and leading informal learning and leadership programmes in the Middle East and the UK. Fuelled by her current studies in theology and her ongoing interest in spiritual formation and the slow rhythms of Charlotte Mason’s educational philosophy, Alberta is devoted to helping home-ed parents grow by cultivating rich spiritual and inner lives which she believes inevitably overflows into every facet of theirs and their children’s lives.
